Had a considerably sober end to the week. Feedback session with DO had good points and not so good ones, but credit to Paul, Ray and class comm for making it happen. 

Over dinner, we had a uncharacteristically serious conversation first about religion, then on to Schindler's List, war in general, then Liesel asked "Do you all know what's happening in Mumbai" which we didn't cos like the rest of the Hall, we don't really keep up with the newspapers. What she proceeded to describe sounded like a horribly realistic action movie that she had just watched, but no, it was real, and bullets were flying, people were being blown to pieces and hotels were burning at that very moment when the four of us were sitting in the dining hall, fiddling with forks, half empty cups, and listening to her talk, generally aghast.

The thought of civilians, their normal lives suddenly interrupted in a welter of explosions and flying metal just made me cringe. A war with no rules, with people like us right in the middle of it (it could have been a country in which one of us had been doing electives in at that moment)

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if Singapore was dragged into a war right now, at this very moment. If that happened, I wouldn't be under any illusion that being a medical student would prevent us (guys) from being called up as well. As the discussion wore on and we went on to the effects of war, the trauma, death and PTSD which is causes, I was just (rather morbidly) hypothesizing a situation in which I lost my closest friends but never would know the impact until peace came and I could think about it. Once or twice in sec school I did have dreams of friends who died (but, happily, are still alive). They weren't pleasant. If you stop and think of the implications and what ifs, it's kinda scary. 

I recall watching live firing in the army, seeing the targets brought back in after the exercise, seen the damage done by a claymore or the detonation of a land-flame mine. Terrible weapons which cause so much damage to wood, plastic and concrete, let alone fragile flesh and bone.

So there I was in the dining hall, thinking morbid thoughts like "yes, what if there was a war?" "what if so-and-so were to die in front of me?" "would I really die for my country? would I do my duty?" etcetc. Terrible. Urgh. And no amount of Whose Line could clear away those thoughts.

The song we sang today really hit home. Every word in the chorus was a response to what I was thinking. Just made me realise that God's in control over all the leaders of the world, both of legal governments and the odd paramilitary deviant fellow who may be plotting his next attack. And truly "the rulers of this world beneath [His] feet are hurled". It made me feel much better and so much more secure while I was standing at my post near the laptop operator during worship today. 

God has a knack of speaking right you need it.

~JcZw~ at 2:17 pm