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Thursday, August 31, 2006

31st of August.

Effectively my last day as a "qualified St. John first aider".. how many times we've been yelled at during training for forgetting to say those crucial words... Well, after A-level or something then it will be time to start considering whether to get re-certified.... I heard that re-certification just before NS means you have a high chance of going to the medical side, but whatever... Heard that CPR has changed too.... There was an article in some life support magazine that my mother showed me... But I can't remember how it went... heheh...

Anyway GP was thoroughly fouled up, and no, as yet I don't know what the author referred to God as a "she"... I just wrote that he doesn't believe in God... was considering that he was feminist, but like, he's a guy, and secondly, there was no other overt signs of him being anti-male. As for compos... well, I think I took a little suicide run and did something on machines and somehhow managed to divert my way to Stalin's Russia... Oh well, we'll see how it turns out... For all I know, the inverse rule might apply again...

Just occured to me that the inverse rule may not be so much as my own cynicism, but that God may simply want to let me succeed under circumstances in which I would owe to him, rather than if I felt it was under my own power... Let's say, I somehow won Novices, I might have felt that it was through my hard work rather than God helping me, so maybe it's all the better that it was only during A-division, a competition which I didn't have as much time to train for, but was sort of more significant to the school, that I managed to do well... And this fell in line with my latent desire to, for this period, concentrate on establishing the fencing team, rather than to attempt to carve my way to the national team (the pursuit of which I will have to leave until after A-levels).

Especially since during the competition when I was really tired and bashed about, it was like God telling me that so long as I did my best, he would give me strength to fight on... Well, not in the way that I expected, but it was still within the limit of legality. Yes, the idea that I sacrificed the chance of being an OGL to train for a competition which I was unceremoniously flung (quite literally) out of does rankle from time to time, but I guess I will come to terms with it.

Another example may be that of Chinese... Although I can't say that I had a very good attitude to my dismal grade (dunno whether breaking down and all that should be considered natural, and I always would like to stay composed even in stress-upon-stress situatios, but well, what's done is done) initially, and especially having to put up with comments that I should have done better etcetc (the legacy of AHS lives on), but God sent a Chinese teacher with whom I could build up a friendly relationship, and could teach me endurance.... And at the end of the day, the memories of missed outings, or (on a more primitive level heheh) missed breaks, are really insignificant compared to a reward of finally getting a grade which I had been pursuing since Sec. 3.

Again, it seems to be a way of God telling me that it's part of his plan for me, and that the greater triumph shouldn't be succeeding when I expect to do well, but to succeed when my back is against the wall, but when I am so much more aware that he's helping me. Oh yes, did I mention that with God's grace, even when I was down and out and refusing to study on that fateful thursday, with my Chem CT1 beckoning, I still managed to scrape a D, using sheer visual memory (again another gift heh) from previous days.

Well, what am still doing awake... Going Esplanading later today I think... Cheerio

And to all, study hard for prelims

And oh... did you notice that "fly" and "cry" has no vowels? =D

~JcZw~ at 1:11 am

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Wow I'm such a hypocrite... I went online to check my mail, and while doing so told Enjie that I didn't think that studying was everything.

Then I got off and went to read Kaleidoscope -_-"'

Anyway the last two days have been quite unproductive, cos my paternal relatives came down from Malaysia so I spent much of the night playing with my cousins (who are the equivalent of Pr 3 and 6) who were still soccer crazed heheh, and so only studied current electricity and a little DC circuits (which in my opinion, is one of the harder topics, although I know some people beg to differ),

Then true to my word, yesterday I went to fence with my juniors... They were having a mini tournament which Coach asked me to join in, and I finally lost to Chermin 5-4 in the final... Despite catching up three points in the last 20 seconds... Heh... Talked to Eldon about NS then spent the rest of the night worrying about NS, which is kinda stupid cos I should be thinking about prelims now...

Well, my weekend programme is mainly reading through GP, so it's relatively unstressful... as well as carrying out a private project or two... So its on to Kaleidoscope and whatnot...

I was just reading through my own Compo which somehow managed to wonder into Kaleidoscope.... Just thinking, GP banks so much on you having good general knowledge... and it's like one of the most important subjects to boot! All on whether the question is "your question" or "not your question" (like it being "your day" or not) and whether you're "on form", "OPL (that's Optimal Performance Level, if you're not Maurice)" and blahblah....

Reading back, I can't even think of how I managed to write such a.... intelligent sounding compo, when the rest of what I've written is hard pressed to breach the 30 mark barrier. Sure, I can write stories, but not arguments. I am, simply put, extremely phlegmatic, and not bothered by anything to sorely want it changed (I don't like PW or SPA, but I can't be bothered to do anything about it =D)... But think, if I wasn't such a fanatic about war movies, I wouldn't know about "The Longest Day" or "Saving Private Ryan", and that one essential paragraph in the compo wouldn't be there.... And the thing about violence in real life, I wouldn't even be able to think of it now

It's like Jon Tay's principles of a stop hit:

1. Straighten arm
2. Duck
3. Pray [that the foil hits the target]

I suppose I have to sort of go into a trance before I can write a good compo or something... Haha, but the more likely exclamation was that God helped me a lot. Still, what matters now is that, God willing, I repeat that feat this Monday.

Oh, to round off an uncontructive weekend, our youth group had a party to sort of commemerate our opening (how do you spell commeme / commemorate? better check before tomorrow).. A lot of people came... quite cool... haha... and we have a nice shirt to boot... Now all my identity shirts are black... My 4F one, my FM one and now my church one.... Simple stuff that's nice to wear on casual outings... Haha.. Anyway, will write more on Youth Group in the near future... Maybe after GP... Some pictures meanwhile...

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Mitchell, one of my cousins, maybe named after the B-25 bomber.. heheh... Anyway, holding my brother's ball and wearing my gloves (boy he was FACINATED by my gloves).. Quite funny, cos the gloves were like twice as big as his hand, and when he clenched his fist, the fingers hardly moved... heheh..

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CheeKit (top) and Gabriel sharing their testimonies... It's quite nice to see how God works in people's lives...

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CheeKeen, EngKeat, CheeKit, and Shawn performing a song

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Chee Keen performing a solo

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The rest of the audience... We really had quite a crowd that dat.. haha...

Well, it's late and I've church later... Goodnight!

~JcZw~ at 12:32 am

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Its been a long time

Since I went fencing, and my epee and foil are just sitting in a corner collecting dust. Plus by the time I come home I'm too tired to go. Maybe tomorrow?

Since I went for St. John. The new batch has taken over but I haven't attended any of their sessions before. Since my squadmates and I could sit around talking nonsense and complaining that "why-was-everyone-taking-so-long-could-we-start-going-for-dinner"

Since I went to run, play soccer, exercise, anything, outside of walking the distance from the bus stop and my house (that would be.... about from VS to VJ)

Since I've derived pleasure from slacking around at home, cos now everytime I put down my notes my brain's either numb, or guilty. Which is bad, cos I've got a newfound appreciation for "Battlestar Galactica", and a few other programmes. Happily, most distractions can be cut out with the correct use of an MP3 player

among a lot more other things. But I guess its the Singaporean way of chiong-ing for everything, and the fact that we are Singaporean means we either conform or fail our A-level.

The insomnia and stress I get nowadays is somehow different from what I felt before my competition. Those insomnias leave you feeling tired the next day, consciously tired, and unable to think properly.

But now although I'm sleeping about the same as I used to, my brain is still alert and I exist under the impression that I still retain my wits about me.... until I do something stupid like spontaneously dropping my file while walking out of school, or tripping over more stuff than normal. And its only after I return home that I realise that I AM in fact exhausted but somehow didn't notice it, and yet at night I still find it a drag to put myself to bed... I can still lie there thinking instead of conking out at once... Quite funny.

Oh another weird phenomenon is that instead of feeling tired and so falling asleep in school, I just fall asleep spontaneously.... Like today's maths lect. One moment I was industriously studying Bio (since I'd already done the tuitorial), and next moment the lecturer was saying "Ok, thank you people" and I was waking up and the clock had somehow jumped half an hour -_-'"

Time pasts very fast. If this is the speed of two years, NS is gonna be no problem...

~JcZw~ at 2:51 pm

Saturday, August 19, 2006

If my second hundred posts went past very fast, the third hundred is crawling by. This, due to the fact that from now to the prelims, at very least, this blog will only be updated during the weekends.

Not that all that much work is being done. With 3 weeks to the Prelims, I've yet to reach the halfway mark, and my study plan is in something akin to chaos...

But the last week was really busy... I'd rather they finished the syllabus faster and let us have our study break now. Cos when school is finished, I feel so drained that I just go home and stone around, or fall asleep which is even worst cos after that I cannot sleep at night. Not that I mind going to school, since honestly it's the most exciting thing that happens to me nowadays, but it's seriously unproductive. Even the discovery of Battlestar Galactica cannot really match that. Speaking of which, if I can find a Galactica uniform, I wouldn't mind wearing it to SDD, given the theme... heheh...

There is this sort of unreality... JC life is really really fast... But now life is completely what we were used to... Even my epee is lying in the corner and collecting dust, and by the time thursday evenings come, I've had so much school plus mugging that I don't feel like going down to FM... Though I'll probably go one more time to pick up my V-blade when it gets repaired...

But at least yesterday the class managed... er... two outings which somehow became one, which was vaguely reminiscent of our wednesday outings last year... just that last year, the lettuce in the KFC burgers weren't rotten and soft and thoroughly yellow... before Bio S, which nearly killed all of us, including Poying.. and before I went home and proceeded to sleep for 13 hours from 10 pm to 11 am.

Oops... alright I shall get back to my work. Apologies for the incoherent post.

~JcZw~ at 11:45 am

Friday, August 18, 2006

There is something lying deep in the nuclei of my cells that causes all my muscles to contract simultaneously when someone or something near me makes a loud noise or sudden movement. I wonder what.

Looks like I won't be passing my driving test easily in the future...

~JcZw~ at 7:40 pm

Friday, August 11, 2006

I was reading Kiaboon's blog and came across her post about inconsiderate people... Speaking of which, I ran into that variety of persons last friday... An irritating bunch of Year 1s were fooling around and cancelling everyone's CIP e-Card print jobs in the lab and printing their own document instead, when some of us had other stuff to do (Like GP Compo, for instance). They finally shut up and got their job done when Mursjid, with impeccable timing, stormed up and said loudly to me, "Have you scolded them for CANCELLING everyone's PRINT JOB yet?" Nice one. heheh..

Anyway yesterday, thanks to Enjie organizing another trip to the Library @ Esplanade, I broke my study record and studied for err something like 8 hours in one day? 1/3 of a day, 5 there and 3 at home! Oh my goodness! But before the reader get's overly shocked and gets the wrong impression that my transcription factors are fixed over my enhancer regions for mugging, then nope... yesterday was an anomaly, and is not likely to occur again... mores the pity...

Alright anyway I should stop here...

Oh yes, this morning I woke up to a call at 10 am from VJC annoucning that I got B3 for chinese. Hopefully it wasn't a dream... =) But thank God for bringing me through. And I have exactly the same results as Maurice...

~JcZw~ at 5:18 pm

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Hmmm so National Day came and went, and with it, half our long week, our last holiday for some time to come... But we'll enjoy it while we may... Managed a credible amount of chem today (suddenly, all the hard Year 1 stuff like redox and equilibrium doesn't seem that hard... or maybe its just the TYS)... going out with Enjie tml to study at Esplanade, if things go to plan.

So fit for the occasion of National Day, I shall talk about... erm.... National Day songs.

Well, I pretty much prefer the older songs, especially "We are Singapore"... Makes the most sense to me, and has the best lyrics of all! Stuff like "Stand up for Singapore" and "Count on me Singapore" are not bad either I guess... Here are some of the songs that somehow stand out in my mind.

1995. "We are Singapore" captured my imagination since I was a primary 1 kiddie... I dunno.... lines like "We're a nation strong and free forevermore" gave (still does, in fact) me a warm fuzzy feeling... and its one of the few pro-Singapore lines I don't feel cliched about. And "this is my country, this is my flag" etcetc are really really nice too... Like gives you a sense of belonging, and as I grew older I could appreciate it more and more cos my relationship with other people, such as "my family" and "my friends" just keep getting better and better =) I remember sitting in class in Primary 1 with the music teacher (Mrs Chin, I recall) teaching us the song...

1998. Several obscure songs sprang up... Like "There are 5 stars arising" and "Who are you my country". I specifically remember the latter sung when I was in Primary4. As a rather pathetic Cadet Scout I had quite literally fainted on the Parade Square while standing at attention listening to the speeches. I remember the prefects and the rest of my friends in the scouts standing in front of the school with their flags and all singing the song, and I was keeled over at a bench next to the parade square squinting at them through bleary eyes.

1999. The year which had the last few "traditional" songs... Like "Home", and of course, we attended the National Day Preview (First time I got to see the Chinook up close) and there was "Together we make a difference". Squeezed in the National stadium, watching, but not quite understanding the parade... I would appreciate it more in the future. Hmmm somehow my graphic memory enables me to remember our teacher warning us not to eat too much or we might throw up in the heat of the parade, but as far as I knew, no one did.

2002.
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And three years on, I got to actually take part in the thing, although it was kinda disappointing that we didn't actually get to march past the President... the first time they implemented that only the Guard of Honour would do... sigh... that would have really great.. But it was good enough to be able to participate =) The song "We will get there" was EVERYWHERE and one of the reasons Wei Lun and I remember it is because in the first full rehearsal, we both collapsed after standing at attention for dunno how long while listening to Sun Yan Zi or whoever it was singing that song for the first time... Then there was all the Fun Dance and "Reach-reach-butterfly-butterfly" stuff in between all the parades... But sigh, good as the experience was, the song still wasn't as good as before.

Oh yes, in the above picture, I'm right at the back, in the center, where everyone appears shortest, and I'm half covered by Wei Lun's head... And every year, including this year, we have MSN-ed or messaged each other during the parades to talk about the ongoing parades... hehehh.. I seriously wouldn't mind going back...

2003. Stupid Bing Long and his NCC people. And all because I was the only (male) uniform group leader that didn't walk around with my shirt tucked out, curse, swear, and play soccer everyday after school. Never mind.

2004.

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My second parade, this time held in school. Goodness knows why my hands were so out of sync with the rest... But then again, St. John people aren't trained to salute with the other hand swinging... It's the *stupid* NCC people who made everyone change to this American (I think) style on such short notice... All the groups who originated from England (SJAB, BB, GB) had trouble adapting. So this one was one the first times I and Joanne tried this out. And yes, I'm short.

The theme song "One United People" (You know... the "one singapore, one nation strong and free" song) was nice, but unfortunately I shall forever associate it with a certain degree of sobriety. It was our last St. John activity that year and at the end of that day, everything I lived for seemed to have collapsed when I thought that "Oh my goodness. Now I have to study"... Its the "I've got a hole where something should be" feeling that every NCO feels. Still, it was nice to march, and at the end of it, we ran in to dance around in the parade square, and some of us were also struck by the committment of Clarice, Wenbin and Wlt, who were thrown into the cauldron of the parade in their first year, and still performing credibly, especially Clarice who endured through so much of the parade segment despite wanting to faint.

2006. Then this year. My family and I agree that in the last two years, they have distorted and jazzed up the old songs too much... Like semoga bahagia or however you spell it... Sigh... Stick to the original tune! You don't need to be "cool" you know... especially when the singer looked so... errr... never mind... But this year's song is not bad lar... compared to the past years.... hehh

Well, so that's my take on National Day songs... We should sing the old ones more! And have a wider variety of MTVs... not the just on the theme song...

After all, one of the images that forever stuck in my mind was during the MTV of "Count on me Singapore" when the teacher asked the boy "What do you want to be when you grow up" and he said "a soldier" and they showed a soldier running towards an anti-aircraft cannon in the twilight silhouetted against the sun ["... there is something down the road that we can strive for..."]... I dunno, but I loved that image. Although that was before I knew that I would actually have to go through NS one day...

Well, I'll wrap up here now... "We are Singapore" simply rulez!

Happy birthday Singapore! (oh, and to Liling also, haha)

~JcZw~ at 12:12 am

Monday, August 07, 2006

Our bug-filled printer finally changed, and with it came a new photo-editing software... ArcSoft or something like that... So in between mugging, I took it upon myself to try and enhance an old old picture...

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Voila! The edited one on the left and the original on the right, Prap's birthday at Sky Garden more than a year ago. The photo in question was taken by Phoon... I was still using a Nokia 2100 at that time... Amazing! Although the edited one still isn't thaaaat good, but it's a marked improvement, I must say...

Anyway the heat is on... Prelims are breathing down our necks and my number of nosebleeds have increased proportionally... On Saturday, a massive bleed which has blood clots falling down the inside of my throat had me panicked... So today after STJ was called off, my mother picked me up and we went to see the Ear Nose Throat (ENT) guy... He numbed by dose ad den he zabbed id wid a zabby ding dad hurd a liddle, lyg ad and biding by dose, den by dose wuz numb for a while... Funny feeling... like breathing through only one nostril.... But I've been through worst... Like being pumped on the parade square in sec. 2... Quite cool also... with each zap a puff of smoke would come out of my nose... hehh... selective electrocution...

The thing about nose bleeds is that it decreases your fear of blood by an astonishing amount... Anyway, some other overdue pictures...

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The price of A-division. One of the many injuries that I got during the run up to the competition. Didn't even think it was serious although my knee was hurting... Then I got home, rolled up my pants and whoa!

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Maurice contorting his body during one of the trainings at my house, in an effort to tighten the nut on my blade

Well, shall stop here then.. cheers..

~JcZw~ at 11:51 pm

Thursday, August 03, 2006

No school today... Enforced rest at home after my flu suddenly became bad last night... Guess the long day didn't help.. and noting that it was a long day today also my mother had me go to bed and told me in effect not to wake up with the help of any external stimulus.

Not that it was that good a sleep since when I had my blanket on it was too hot and with it off it was too cold.. But it was nice to take a rest I guess...

I'm absolutely tired of hypocritical people (I don't use the word often, but this situation warrants all safety catches off) who tell me to my face that it was a job well done at the A-division, and then behind my back say to everyone that it was thoroughly undeserved. You, sir/s, are no gentleman to behave in this manner. Shame on you, especially considering that you practise a sport that harkens from a chivalrous era. Come, tell it to my face. Not on my tagboard, but to my physical self. You only reflect badly on yourself. Period. Ellipse.

I have photographic evidence of the crucial corps-a-corps during the semi, and everyone saw that I didn't touch Cephas with anything other than my blade during the final and I was leading when the walkover was called. They fought their best, in a manner that is worthy of mention, but as long as they step onto the strip, it is their skill against mine, their luck, if you believe in it, against mine (I don't believe in luck). The probability of them winning was 50%, same as mine. So belt up, and if you feel upset about it, come and find me yourself.

Well, now that that's out of my system, I can probably be more at ease, and will probably recuperate faster to...

Alright, it's on to Trapezium Rule.. My sampling is absolutely dead... I missed half the lecture and now I've missed the tuitorial... sighhh... And I want my V-blade back...

~JcZw~ at 6:29 pm

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