~JcZw

A short respite before the next set of CAs...

2 weeks to the next set

But over this weekend I shall give myself a good break. If anything I feel absolutely drained by microB and immuno. Just feel like sleeping and sleeping hahah.... Sometimes I feel like my life went on hold for Med Year 2. I've stopped fencing for a long time, and have stopped doing stuff like playing computer too. Now its either Hall or Med, so I'm grateful I have the weekend to putter about at home.

Cleaned my room on Wednesday after Neuro. I opened the file on general microbiology and got reminded that skin scales spread disease. I think that has been the line which I've taken most to my heart in the whole year! So now I can slide around on my room floor and sleep on it when it gets too hot at night =D

Thursday night didn't disappoint. Stayed in my room through lunch and ate cup noodles, and my 5 pm I was so hyperactive and in need of fresh air (even though my doors and windows are always open), so got up with my Virology tables and walked up and down the corridor a few times, to the surprise of Adrian.

By 11 pm I felt so devastatingly drained, my brain so infuriatingly squishy, that I decided to drop everything and join the handball team for the last 20 min of the last formal training. Got there and realised that I had missed quite a lot cos Greg had been teaching new keeper techniques and training =/ oh heck... Of course, moved very slowly during the senior vs junior game cos was pretty worn out, but since I was playing on the senior side, I wasn't troubled too much. But still... how to improve for IHG???

Friday was ok I guess. I just hope I can pass. During the break between the papers a group of us KEVII medics just got into a corner and scared each other with all kinds of things we weren't sure of haha... Think I was too aggressive with the first paper and too scared with the second. Aiyz. Too late anyway.

Had PBL after that. Its so funny watching people's reactions to us having PBL immediately after CA =D but as we said, I don't think we would have agreed to PBL after CAs if our group had not already been pretty close to each other. Met OG and watched Tropic Thunder too, which I must say is one of the most slapstick shows I have ever seen, comparable to, say, Hotshots. Only that it had a lot of crudeness which I didn't appreciate, but oh well, we've all heard our fair share in the SAF, though "we will never be able to curse as fluently as them" according to Sheila haha...

Sigh have been wondering about my future with VCF. On one side there is Medicine, on the other, KE. Been with the latter for a year and already find that I cannot commit the time I would like to too them. Personally I don't think it makes me a worst Christian - I still talk to God and I still read the Bible. I still believe in all the "correct" things. But people seem to judge on how much you do ("How come so-and-so does this-and-this and you don't?" "If so-and-so can do it, why can't you?" [Has it occured to people that I'm NOT so-and-so??]).

Then I start to wonder whether I'm in VCF because I want to, or because people whom I hold in high esteem, an elder sibling, a respected instructor from AHSJAB, is also. Guess these thoughts have been lying latent in my mind for a long time now, its just that recent events have caused them to resurface with a certain measure of frustration. Do I even believe in VCF at all? Either KE or Med or whatever? Is not signing up for the various courses etc a sign of a waning faith?

CAs which have a different definition from other faculties. Academic years which start and end at different times. Lessons which sometimes start at 8. The variable timetable. What is the line between faith and realism? What is the boundary between trusting in God, but also putting in your best?

I had a choice last year: KE or Medicine CF. I guess one way or another, its my own hole that I've dug and I've got to make the best of it.