~JcZw

Have been doing quite a large amount of thinking the last few days... Triggered off mainly from being the senior IC of mock comp.

I've just completed 7 years in St. John, and am proud to say that I was the batch to lead the transformation from the old AHS to the present one. But with it was the transitional stage and growing politics which devastated our bid for the N-comp championship in 2004. Things have always been changing and on one hand there are the teachers who want to move forward.

Then again there are the seniors, most of whom have endured harsh but effective training under the old system and, adopting a "If it ain't broke why fix it" attitude, wish for it to remain the same. For myself there are some things which are good to be removed, but some things simply must stay the same.

For e.g., I see no reason why cadets should pump on a parade square hot enough to scorch the skin off, and on the other hand, I don't see why pumping should be eliminated completely either. It is, after all, an integral part of a uniformed group.

But other things are changing. Standards, expectations, etc. Though I've made generations of good friends in St. John from basic acquaintances to the closest friends in my life, even in the batches whom I did not command directly, I'm wondering whether it's time to step away, retire and give it up. With my schedule, I can't really keep going back already. It gives me no pleasure to say this, but I don't want to bite off more than I can chew.

This doesn't have anything to do with anyone, just that I need to rethink my life, a third of which has been centred around AHSJAB (besides God, that is)

And then again, there was Novices today. Was really happy to see my juniors giving all they had, even though some might have started out slowly. But could tell the effort and concentration was there for the most part. I can really see they want to learn, and even if I'm not the most epee-epeeist, I still should try to go back and help out. Give KB and SY something to hit at least (CL and RY too if they want..)...

And lastly I want to go to Selangor, even though its two weeks before my CAs. Is that a bit rash? But since I don't shop, I'd spend one day competing and one day mugging...

Am incoherent. Off me to bed. Once again, well done to my juniors, SJ and fencing!