~JcZw

Am feeling rather melancholy now. Not outright depressed, but a feeling of "urghhh".

The weekend was not what it could have been.. But I'm thankful for handball that has trained my catching. All through the soccer warmup whenever a high ball flew my way I was telling myself "Itsahandball itsahandball" and voila! I didn't spill any shots yay. But, like I expected, no one really noticed. Hmmm. Didn't play either. It was nice to have the experience and it was nice to see KE thrash the other team (which wasn't very good), but somehow... Being there in the afternoon to help people carry water and to loan out my gloves isn't very nice.

Still, I know if I keep my head, if Terence and Long Wu get their body parts knocked off in the course of IHG, I know I can keep KE's goal alive. I guess I knew it ever since the M1 friendly at Woodlands, when my other two keepers couldn't come. That was my best game of my life. Every catch went ok, I ran out at the correct times, even managed to smother loose balls at the opponent's feet. I know somewhere in there I have the "right idea". Just need confidence.

And Novices are over. Am happy for SMU =) I'm glad I didn't have to eat my epee like I told Jonah. I'm glad that I vindicated my treatment of Cephas in A-div two years ago, although I think I may have been the only person to remember. I think the CJC seniors did too.

And I'm proud of VJ's girls' team. They worked hard I know. Maybe not as crazily as Maurice, but they did put in a lot of effort, even coming for the epee camp. It was well worth my saliva cheering them on and teaching them. Maybe some have given up on VJ, but with them I can't. Well, not yet anyway. It was fine to see them turn the tables on X-JC at the last minute and then stage a near comeback against an experienced ABF team.

But somewhere in me, I also know that they definitely had the same or even greater amount of potential than some of the medallists, but potential untapped and undiscovered. They knew what to do, but not how to go about doing it. I know with the correct resources, permission and support they would go even farther. It wouldn't be too much to expect a medal of them next year. It kinda pains the heart to see them walk away without anything this competition.

Being allowed to do bladework in school, being allowed to train in an alloted area, even being allowed to fence under the school's name, are liberties which many other institutions take for granted. But, like two years ago, some people in authority are blind to the fact that fighting without acknowledgement or even simply moral support is heart breaking. It was to me. It still is.

They deserve better. Dear God, help me to be able to help them somehow.

IHG tomorrow. Am starting for KE against RH in handball. Let us win, if we cannot win, let us be brave in our attempt.