~JcZw

Am feeling rather depressed now.

Soccer wasn't good today. I don't know why. Maybe playing competitively, in this case in a friendly against Raffles Hall, I was just not as good as I could have been. Heck, I think I was much better while playing with Kok Keng's team in AHS.

I mean, I never said that I was good or anything. I don't know what a 'keeper does, in fact I now see I had an entirely wrong impression bout being one. Its not about making saves, its not so much about agility or even timing. Its about being able to watch your defence and hold them together, and its something which, having rarely watched ANY soccer match besides VJ finals (where I was always cheering, avoiding ChuaH's foot, and explaining the offside rule to whichever TKGS girl who was next o me).

Yet here am I feeling rather horrible, with a fourth finger which is quite painful and a wrist which refuses to be clenched. Even my parents reckon that a high-contact sport like soccer, and of all places, being a 'keeper is not the safest place for a person with high myopia. Retinal detachment can apparently result from a high-speed impact.

Fencing, and fencing foil at that, I guess, remains the one of the only sports I'll ever enjoy (I mean, epee's cool as well, but it was more because I had so many good epee friends, Maurice, Jon Boon, Candice and the rest, than the weapon itself than I enjoyed). But who needs a fencer, a person from an obsolete era, over other social sports which are so much easier and nicer to watch.

When I'm on the soccer pitch, I just get the feeling that everyone knows exactly what to do except for me, when I'm in one of the key positions.

Yet again, it would be such a pity. I'd just feel weird walking away.

I didn't quit when I was threatened with the closure of VJ's fencing fifteen times over, nor did I leave my Chinese at a C5. I willingly put the "Yes" which sent me into the cauldron of OCS. At the end of the day, I've emerged from everything happy in retrospect.

Just hoping that this remains the same for me now.