~JcZw

Been a tiring few days. Haven't been so sleep deprived since platoon field camp. But as in all situations, "it could have been worst". At least there was air-con, and at least we didn't have to camo on.

Stayed overnight in the PGP common room together with 5 friends from my OG, pushed off to the padang very very early. Everything was pretty monotonous from there... Touching up, directing lost people around... Oh yea but ran into Stella prepping for FASS dance haha.

But like I said, it was pretty monotonous until we had to shift our props in the afternoon. Still, having been a CCA leader, can empathize with the M2 Rag ICs' reasons for calling us down, who, even as I'm typing this, are probably down at Med Fac getting everything unloaded and everything packed up prior to dismantling tomorrow. Its everything about contingencies. Heavy rain. Catastrophic structural failure. Props damaged in transit (if, unlike today, there had been more than one prop damaged, more than one OG would have been needed also)

I don't know what people think of me and my leadership style. But when I'm leading a group of people which actually I have no written authority over (unlike a uniformed group when you can say "you must listen to me cos I have two stripes and you don't), I'll tell them what they have to do, what I intend to do, and if they don't follow my example then whatever.

One of the things which I remember from my hospital attachment was when the housemen wanted to go out of hospital during lunch break for lunch. Only one disagreed saying "what if the patients suddenly needs a doctor", who eventually ended up staying behind in the hospital. Yes. A what if, and a what if [a very unlikely thing] happens also. But this is a sense of duty was one which I remember very clearly.

Have had my own experience. Thought it was alright for me to leave so I did. And something happened, involving a personal friend. And I couldn't do anything about it cos I wasn't there. Knew what to do, but wrong place at the wrong time. Lousy first aider. I will NEVER let this happen again if I can help it. Call it idealistic. So there. How else will I be a good first aider otherwise? Or a doctor for that matter.

Am disappointed with myself. Dunno if I could have done anything better. We had such a chance. Everyone said so. But something went wrong along the way. I don't know if I could have done anything to change things. Guess the leader should never be absent huh. Not for anything, orientation or laptop collection or anything.

Its been a tiring day. Tempers are short. Guess I should stop for now then.