~JcZw

We headed for the staff room expectantly. After all, it had not been that hard the year before hadn't it? All the good phrases had gone into the compo, most correct answers carefully thought out and put into paper 2. Listening Compre, of course, had been a breeze, as had Oral, when we got topics that had more or less been spotted already.

"If I get a C5, I think I'll just get a heart attack". Famous last words.

She came out of the staff room smiling. "Your class has done very well" and our hearts soared.

"Only one of the results was disappointing".

By now you'd know who that one person was. Being told that the class did very well first then getting the result was akin from jumping into the air very high... and off the edge of the cliff into the abyss.

I don't understand how I can be performing at B3 and B4 for 2 years, and then die miserably during the exam. I can't figure out how making the effort to come to class on time (relatively, that is), or passing up assignments punctually could come to this.

I only know that I let a lot of people down.... My teacher, the school, Anglican, and all my classmates who repeatedly told me that they were sure that I had it made this time.

Such a grade.... far lower than the second lowest in the class.... No one even came near. I was supposed to be near the top, or at very least average, as an "ex-higher chinese student", as an "ex-SAP school student". So much for potential.

3 shots already, and 3 wasted attempts. What a stupid stupid stupid sheer waste of time.

She called it disappointing. To disappoint someone is a far worst thing that to anger someone. Just what is it, what is the part that goes wrong every exam... So many people tell me its paper 1. I KNOW that I would have fared well. I made a CONSCIOUS effort to memorize all the stuff to put it

To disappoint yourself. Well, I know too well how that feels. Curious, isn't it? I'm not even used to it yet.