~JcZw

Exhaustion. Mentally. So many things in my head. Venting in the blog i guess.

Outing today. Sentosa. Gave me a lot of things to think about.

Ultimate frisbee.... which I stepped on Li Ling's foot... oops sorry...
Soccer... which I sliced open my big toe neatly on the road. Smart. Must start carry more plasters ard in my wallet. I must say I didn't know I had so much blood in my big toe.
Playing about in the water... Monkey and blah.... Swallowed a lot of water.

Haven't had so much fun since the first 3 months... it was just great to be having fun with friends n all =) ... But even now something is missing... What happened to all the bonding n all that... when the class went everywhere and did everything together..... The innocence the first three months is gone for good... a combination of a need to study, parents (cos we're supposed to be studying), external factors (in the first 3 months, we didn't have to worry about CCA too much).

How do you say... I didn't know others shared my view about certain issues (or rather, I didn't know I shared the view of others). I didn't know how to express it in words, or to write about it because I was afraid of hurting others. But... today I realised... Why is it I find it so hard to build a friendship with those that I used to treat as good friends?

I owe another an apology. I said something without thinking that annoyed that person I think. Or maybe I said a few. I don't know.

Fencing today after the outing. Tired
An over-exerted hand cos of badminton, a cut toe, all mild in comparison to the fact that I hadn't touched my foil for 3 months or so
Thrashed 15-7 by Su San. Timing all out. Stop hits galore. How to win novices? How to bring fencing to greater heights in this world where only championships count? The school didn't even blink an eye when Daniel won a bronze... Thats too ordinary, even for a new CCA that competes against people with 8 times the experience.

What qualities should a captain have? Not the same as those of an OC, not exactly the same. It doesn't count that he is good. I know people who are good but only fence and fence. They don't care about their members, or about how others fare, only about themselves. They don't bother about pamphlets, or making their presentation look good. Maybe its because they aren't threatened with closure so much, maybe it doesn't bother them.

But the good captain will get along with his members, his coach, his teacher, will take time to look after everyone, and to make sure they are doing well.

In some, I pass, in others, I fail miserably. But there are somethings which I cannot do, and it is this thought that irkes me.

There is still some other qualities, which I have yet to pinpoint. Maybe along the way we could even win a medal or two..

Sorry for the incoherence. Having a funn day of exertion and eating your dinner only at 1045 at night gives a weird combination and a exhausting degree of sleepiness.