~JcZw

Friday 13th. Not that I believe very much in it. Friday was a pretty memorable day. But of certain aspects of it I'd rather forget it. Which is hard to do when you're gifted with a memory that can remember sequences with unnerring clarity (probably the reason why I got the ambulance calling job in St. John).

Friday was chem SPA. Which I was pretty confident about. Well, since every titration I'd done from sec. 4 until now never took more than 3 readings. I'd almost never gotten scolded by a teacher in terms of accuracy or technique. I'd never got a totally anomalous reading that was far apart from my friends.

Never is a big word.

It started pretty well actually. We'd just emerged from V48 after I'd discovered thanks to Mr Lim that I was one of hundred over students to get dunno what question correct or something. Ok. Thats good, I was pretty happy. But how happy can you be over a mere intra-school thingy?

SPA. Started with the weighing of iron (II) sulphate. Which I did ok. *censored*g. Then the dissolving of the thing. Yeah, *censored* cm^3 of *censored*. Called mr lim and poured the stuff into the standard flask. Topped it up with water. Ok. Washed burette, pipette, pipetteed the solution, added acid and did the first titration.

Within 3 seconds of holding the clip open the solution was a dark purple. I stopped and stared. I didn't move for a full 10 sec or maybe more. A titration reading of *censored*? Then I redid it.

*censored*. I did it again

*censored*

*censored*

*censored* <--This was the most accurate one. But who was to know? I didn't even know what end point to expect. I was looking for yellow or orange. But it was just so ridiculous! When the reading was fluctuating so much!

*censored*

*censored*

7 Titrations. It was totally stupid. I took the *censored* one. The answer was *censored*. I had to complete the final 2 titrations in a vain hope to get a consistent reading after Mr Lim had said "15 minutes left". And the longer I took, the more time I wasted. The more I panicked. The more my technique fouled up. Forgot to remove funnel. Pipetted the wrong solution. Had to rewash everything. Knocked over the bottle of *censored* but managed to sweep everything up before anything was messed up. In short, what had started as a perfect titration ended as a total foul up.

After we were released I don't think I'd ever been so angry and irritated. The only time which came close was when a certain St. John member inadverdantly taunted me by telling me a member of her competition team had won two championships while my own vaunted team had only won once.

It had occured to me that it could be due to the solution being homogenous. So I'd shook it! As the titrations continued the readings should have become more consistent! But they didn't! It was incredible, as if such macabre miracle that had undone every skill i'd learnt for the last 3 years was unfolding before my eyes.

A miracle that would leave me with a mark probably no higher than L4 and a marked-ly lower chance of getting into medicine since I don't even know what went wrong.

Not many people would have asked me why I was upset. As in, everyone had beautiful readings of around *censored*. Everyone was letting out happy cheers as their results tallied with those of their friends. When others from the first batch asked "how was it" they could give jubilant reports. But as far as I was concerned I looked to be the only person in the level who had fouled up my SPA. Even the greatest deviation in the class besides me did not miss by more than 2 cm^3.

At least a few of them cared. A few of them tried to cheer me up. Others just maintained an awkward but considerate silence. I could tell that, but far worst was the reality of what had just passed.

Of gripping a burette clip with weary hands that had suddenly gone cold.
Of a throbbing in the head as one reading after another displayed the height of illogical results.
Of glaring at the solution with tired eyes willing it to change to orange. But always it changed too soon or too late.

Of the tutor looking at me strangely. With the full knowledge of the problem that was tearing apart the experiment of this chem-rep-who-did-not-seem-to-be-able-to-get-anything-right.
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I appreciate the efforts of Alon, XunAi, Dawn, Enjie, Desmond, Mr Lim and whoever else tried to cheer me up. Its hard to express how much. Mainly because my emotional state did not change very much. But it was more because they cared. And they had made the effort. They'd spent time talking to me when they could have been talking to friends about much happier things.

"Don't think about me. Just take care of yourself first."
"Cheer up chan"
"If you want to find me I'll be in V XX"
"You feeling better now?"
"Work hard for the next few spa... You can make it!"

It was typical of the things only the best friends would say. It was the kind of thing Wei Lun would have said, just like after the various traumatic chinese exams. Matter of fact, he did say that subsequently when he asked about it just now.

The only thing that SPA could prove was that I had good, invaluable friends.
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13th Friday happened also to be my father's birthday. He came home from Europe with my sister yesterday yup. So yeah, its great to have them back, as well as the sweets they brought with them yeah... haha

13th friday happened to be guitar concert, which I didn't attend cos of home group and my father's bday. I doubt I was in the mood to also.

Today. PW meeting. ChuaH's birthday (Happy birthday Jon ChuaH! Its great knowing another Jonathan. I'll never forget the first time we talked we managed to generate a scandal between *beep* and *beep* hehe)

Yeah. thats all that transipred these few days. Sorry for the lengthy post. But I don't really feel like working when in this mood.

Thanks everyone for everything they did for me. Hope I can repay the favour someday!