~JcZw

Just some reflection on the past week.... It just struck me that the things that worry me the most are probably relationships with other people, not results.... although somehow I still managed to make VJ (although so what? No matter what JC still must slog). In the past week some relationships have become stronger and some... well... have become more detached...

Going to JC makes you more pro-active in terms to making friends, it seems.... its easier to ask "whats your name" n all that. Thus it was with the epee fencers in Fencing Masters... Made some new friends in the past week fencing with them... although some of the ITE Balestier people are well-capable of cratering your chest... Talk about dings and pits.... The hits can literally make you see stars...

On the other hand.... it just seems avoidable that you lose some friends... well, not exactly lose, but you become, like, more detached from them. As I said, can't remember what we used to talk about. Even coming from the north pole doesn't seem to have done any good. My sister once told me that the best way to put off people was to act inane and immature... I think I may have started doing that unconsciously..... Die man.... then nowadays still can get alternating segments of hyperness and hyponess... What does this remind you of? (Don't answer the question). There had been a time when I was confident of what I was doing and I knew that what I was doing was right. Now I find myself looking back on the day and thinking "You nut, you shouldn't have done that!" Following that is usually a sleepless hour.

Events of the past days also made me realise how much I miss some friends. Just seeing and talking to them face to face again was fantastic. Its like, they had been always in my subconscious, but occasionally it would plague me that we see each other so RARELY!! Looking at photos a few days ago, I realy missed those times when we were together.... I so wish it was still the same now. Cos everything is just not perfect when those people are not around..... =( There are so many things I feel, but I don't wish to saay for fear of hitting a raw nerve... and subsequently those people coming back to hit me (for every action theres an equal and opposite reaction). You could say that some of my confidence left with those people.... It seems so so long ago that we last met.

Well... thats all I can think of now at any rate.... Man, I really miss those times..... n those people... they were and are so important to me.....